eo Insights

Life starts with what you believe


The ‘Sanity Clause’

I recently conducted a Facebook poll asking the question ‘Where does your Christmas Stress come from?’   Not surprisingly, the #1 answer was ‘meeting the expectations of others’.  For many people, Christmas is a very-stress-fully difficult season of the year.  (Personally, I’ve come to notice that the most lasting gift Christmas usually gives me is a few more wrinkles around my eyes.  Sigh.)  So with less than 5 weeks until the big day, I’ve decided to create a ‘Sanity Clause’; a contract with myself to keep Christmas sane.  You might want to consider creating one for yourself too!

The ‘Sanity Clause’ 

Say No – It’s really ok to say ‘no’ to overspending, over eating and to attending too many events.  Personal boundaries like ‘no thank you’ or ‘not this time’ help curb the guilt of Christmas overload.

Give Other’s a Break – Pressuring others to meet your expectations would be a contradiction of point #1.  Remember, others face the same Christmas stress you do.  Cut them some slack.

Pre-Think Your List – One hour at home (making an accurate, detailed, budgeted list) is worth four in the mall.

Never Mind The Jones’ – Here’s the problem with comparing. You either feel superior (which is pride) or you feel inferior (which is self-defeating).   Who cares what the Jones’ are doing?  Be yourself!

Enjoy the Moment – While others are laughing, opening gifts, or eating, mentally escape for a moment, like a fly on the wall.  Take in what’s happening and how truly blessed you are.  Enjoy the moment you worked hard to create.

Step Outside – Plan to go skating, skiing or out for a brisk walk to allow your mind and body some fresh oxygen.  It’s amazing how restorative the outdoors can be!

Watch ‘A Christmas Carol’ – An artistic reminder that Christmas is about others.  Giving and sharing, loving and caring.

It Won’t Be Perfect – There will be messes, spills, and misunderstandings.  Laugh about it and move on.

Turn up Your Christmas Spirit by Singing Out Loud!  – Music has healing qualities that go back to biblical times when David played the harp to rid King Saul of a bad spirit.  Go for it!!!  It’s good therapy!

Be The Person You Want to Be – Replace all your uglyisms, spendifications, substance abusitivities, unreasonableisms, expectaphobias and joymentias with dignity, integrity and generosity.  Let Christmas bring out the ‘wonderful’ in you!

Lovingly Signed For My Own Peace of Mind

E.Olson 🙂

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Why 6-Year-Old Girls Want To Be Sexy

Excerpts from an article1 worth reading. 

“Most girls as young as 6 are already beginning to think of themselves as sex objects, according to a new study of elementary school-age kids.

Researchers have shown in the past that women and teens think of themselves in sexually objectified terms, but the new study is the first to identify self-sexualization in young girls.

Psychologists at Knox College in Galesburg, Ill., used paper dolls to assess self-sexualization in 6- to 9-year-old girls. Sixty girls were shown two dolls, one dressed in tight and revealing “sexy” clothes and the other wearing a trendy but covered-up, loose outfit.

Using a different set of dolls for each question, the researchers then asked each girl to choose the doll that: looked like herself, looked how she wanted to look, was the popular girl in school, she wanted to play with. Across-the-board, girls chose the “sexy” doll most often. The results were significant in two categories: 68 percent of the girls said the doll looked how she wanted to look, and 72 percent said she was more popular than the non-sexy doll.

“It’s very possible that girls wanted to look like the sexy doll because they believe sexiness leads to popularity which comes with many social advantages,” explained lead researcher Christy Starr, who was particularly surprised at how many 6- to 7-year-old girls chose the sexualized doll as their ideal self.”

Factors that influenced the girls’ responses.

“Most of the girls were recruited from two public schools, but a smaller subset was recruited from a local dance studio. The girls in this latter group actually chose the non-sexualized doll more often for each of the four questions than did the public-school group. Being involved in dance and other sports has been linked to greater body appreciation and higher body image in teen girls and women, Starr said.

Media consumption alone didn’t influence girls to prefer the sexy doll. But girls who watched a lot of TV and movies and who had mothers who reported self-objectifying tendencies, such as worrying about their clothes and appearance many times a day, in the study were more likely to say the sexy doll was more popular.

On the other hand, mothers who reported often using TV and movies as teaching moments about bad behaviours and unrealistic scenarios were much less likely to have daughters who said they looked like the sexy doll.

Mothers’ religious beliefs also emerged as an important factor in how girls see themselves. Girls who consumed a lot of media but who had religious mothers were protected against self-sexualizing, perhaps because these moms “may be more likely to model higher body-esteem and communicate values such as modesty,” the authors wrote, which could mitigate the images portrayed on TV or in the movies.

However, girls who didn’t consume a lot of media but who had religious mothers were much more likely to say they wanted to look like the sexy doll. “This pattern of results may reflect a case of ‘forbidden fruit’ whereby young girls who are overprotected from the perceived ills of media by highly religious parents … begin to idealize the forbidden due to their underexposure,” the authors wrote.

Because there is significant evidence that daughters tend to model themselves after their mothers, moms can help their daughters navigate a sexualizing world by instructing their daughters about their values and by not demonstrating objectified and sexualized behaviours themselves.”